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Trail: 2007-09-09 u92

2007-09-09 u92

once again too many thoughts.
the fact that i am in a country which could be falling apart. my insistence on not believing in countries. like i said to his father, it is all a construction why take this one and not that one. thinking about the flag to utopia at a time when i refuse to believe in flags. got me thinking of that question.... “truth or paradise” and my answer... “paradise! now!” and why.... “because any fool will tell you his truth” but at that time not really having a clue what paradise is. thinking only of my paradise and not the paradise for all mankind... thinking still, of each with her own paradise.

so watching DasBoot for the first time and learning what it is to believe in something. I was truly believing those guys were dead and done for 280 kilometers beneath the sea, on the floor of Gibraltar. And like Toru in his well I was there in the depths with them. On the floor of the great sea looking up as one man who though he was done for wanted his last sight to be that of the mountains. And in that I thought ah, the point of this film is paradise. How one can only know anything about paradise by knowing, intimately, it’s opposite. By reaching the end of yourself... then and only then do you know what your paradise is and through that realization you reach the paradise of all humankind.

okay, this is abstract and i cannot make it real. But I came to the conclusion that Utopia has no flag. But if it must then it is a photograph of my garden, of what you ate for dinner, of your best friend’s children playing. Endless configurations which would fly on a piece of cloth strapped to a staff of wood. And happiness, falling, falling. Paradise is the desire for your opposite.. not something to be fulfilled. So I choose paradise, to long for paradise while cherishing the utopia of the everyday. And utopia is here, utopia is now. Utopia is at the bottom of the sea.